Flirty, Thoughtful, Silly, Selfless Chains of Love

by Hallie @ Moxie Wife on September 3, 2013

The new school year is upon us which means that I’m doing that thing I do once a year where I pretend like I’m super organized and efficient and I make lists and set goals and tell myself that the times they are a changin’. I even signed up for a three day a week 6 AM ‘Fat Blasting Bootcamp’ which, if it tells you anything about my state of mind, still sounds like a lovely idea.

I basically own this school year and it hasn’t even begun. That’s how awesome (and in denial) I am. I’m pretty sure I can even hold off the wailing and gnashing of teeth for at least three weeks. (Hold on while I add that to my brand spankin’ new calendar.)

Because no life revamp would be complete without throwing a little love my sweet honey’s way, I also decided to add three small things to my to-do list that will hopefully ease Dan’s earthly burden just a bit.

Prepare to be impressed, girls, because I’m really kicking it up in this category.

  • I’m going to start making our bed in the morning. Every day, not just some, chickadees. (I’ll wait while you pick your jaws up off the floor.)
  • I added Cabernet Sauvignon to the ‘staples’ section of my grocery list so that Dan will always have a bottle ready to go when the mood strikes.
  • And the third one’s a secret. (Wink, wink.)

I know, I know, Wife of the Year over here. Eleven years into marriage and it just occurred to me that making our bed might bless our marriage.

Have you seen those Etsy signs that say things like: In our family we do apologies, forgiveness, honesty, singing around the campfire, and handmade chicken coops? (I tease, but I really do love those.) Well, I’m going to use that artistic gene that I wasn’t born with to create one that says: I do big love and infinitesimally small goals.

And I’ll proudly display it, too, because baby steps make the world go round. (I trust I don’t need to tell this to any of you What About Bob? fans.)

Even though I may be currently floating blissfully in a pool of ambitiousness, I am just self-aware enough to know that my Achilles’ heel has always been that I’m something of an all-or-nothing kind of gal. ​I push, push, push, until I stumble and then I give up and pack it in until I manage to find my mojo again a few months later. Which is why I’m determined to pace myself and take baby steps.

Yes, huge acts of love and sacrifice are a gift to marriage, absolutely. Sometimes, though, it’s the small gestures done faithfully over time that yield the most extraordinary outcomes.

In the beautiful words of Truman Capote, “Love is a chain of love, as nature is a chain of life.”

So I will make the bed, stock the wine, and all that good stuff. Link by link, I will create flirty, thoughtful, silly, selfless chains of love through small gestures done as consistently as the sun rises.

I will love because love begets love, and love makes the world go round. Love and baby steps, anyway.

 

Won’t you inspire us, sweet peas? What little things do you to on a regular basis to add to your chain of romantic love?

 

"Love is a chain of love, as nature is a chain of life."  - Truman Capote

 ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

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{ 20 comments… read them below or add one }

Mrs. K September 3, 2013 at 6:32 am

I linger. I try to be available to my husband. I offer a bare neck, a sore pregnant back in need of a backrub, or I brush my teeth extra long while he showers. I linger rather than rush to start my day because I would rather start my day with a thousand kisses and that smile from my guy (and on my face too) knowing I put my marriage first. Just linger without talking or sharing to do lists. Just linger in an available, quiet, flirty way, letting the past night’s dreams unfold in our marriage.
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Caroline M. September 3, 2013 at 8:13 am

Linger – I like that! I never thought of it that way, but it’s a wonderful corrective to “must move on, must get things done all the time.”
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Casey September 3, 2013 at 7:32 am

I stand at the door waving good-bye to him as he leaves for work every morning. And when he comes home in the afternoon, I meet him in the garage with a smile and help him carry his stuff into the house.
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Kaitlin @ More Like Mary September 3, 2013 at 8:08 am

I DO make the bed every day! It’s really wonderful how it makes our bedroom feel so peaceful. And he almost always thanks me for it.
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Joy B September 3, 2013 at 8:49 am

Agree with making the bed, I also walk him out and wave every morning.
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Katherine September 3, 2013 at 9:19 am

Love and baby steps…I needed this! I’m one of those gung-ho all-or-nothing ones too…
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Cottage By The Sea September 3, 2013 at 10:39 am

I love your moxie and your get up and go attitude! I hope it lasts because, you have some great ideas (I may even steal some.) When my hubby comes home, I always greet him like it’s the first time he came home when we were married (37) years ago. Definitely gets us off on the right foot.

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Kelsey September 3, 2013 at 10:51 am

I like these ideas…I will be honest, I just had a baby so I try and do some little things as well. Like shower on a daily basis, change my clothes, brush my teeth before 5pm. You know some real deal breakers!! If I am feeling really frisky I may even shoot him a text while he’s at work, something to the likes of “hey it’s 4 o’clock and I just had a cup of coffee might be a late night…wink wink.” haha!!
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bobbi @ revolution of love September 3, 2013 at 11:44 am

This is a great reminder because I always get frustrated that there is so much I need to do or change in my life and I end up doing nothing very productive about it. Brian is always telling me, just do a little bit each day. That’s what I need to focus on…little bits of love each day. Which would not only leave me less stressed, but in turn bring more peace into the household and Brian loves that. Okay, I’m logging off and going to go make the bed. (But seriously, I’m not even sure where I keep the comforter. ;-))
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Jennifer H September 3, 2013 at 11:57 am

I try to have laundry done, dishes washed and living room picked up when my husband gets home on the days I am home. I also offer back-scratches at night and try to keep the pita chips stocked for him :). I know his primary love language is acts of service and it’s one area I am weakest, so this takes great effort most days for me, but it’s worth it to see the smile on his face and to have him relax when he gets home. I know he feels loved when I do these things for him :).
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elizabethe September 3, 2013 at 12:05 pm

I have the exact same school mojo going on as you!! Don’t burst my bubble. My school year is going to go exactly to schedule.

I also make the bed everyday.

My other new little love thing is to keep the front hallway neat and tidy so that the first thing he sees when he comes home is not shoes thrown all over the hall and the reusable grocery bags in a pile and the closet door open and a bunch of dust piled up on the corner.

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Sarah O @ Two Os Plus More September 3, 2013 at 12:15 pm

Wow! What great timing for this piece. Thanks Hallie! What a perfect reminder that we as wives can start small and that building the links is what gives us that strong chain. I’m reminded of the cord of three strands in the Bible that is not easily broken. God obviously, being the 3rd strand, is forever strong, but we, as the human strands, must work to keep our parts strong. As a stay at home mama, like many of you, I find if I don’t plan for something, it just doesn’t get priority. One of my goals as we start this school year (which for me is kinda easy being just home-preschool, but better sooner than later, right?) is to work on strengthening my marriage daily.

I love your ideas for daily little things or a wine bottle bought in advance because they’re so doable. I often find myself aiming WAY too high, and then it falls short, and I just feel no good at adding any sort of spice to our daily rhythms. Thanks again for always sharing such wonderful marriage tidbits.
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J.R. Baldwin September 3, 2013 at 2:37 pm

I’m an all or nothing person too… But I do love the making the bed part. I try to do that every day too! It makes everything better.
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Misty September 3, 2013 at 3:35 pm

One little way we have found to stay close throughout the week is to send random texts simply saying “I miss you” or “I love you” or better yet to compliment a smart parenting move, to say thank you for some small way he helped or even just to make plans to watch TV after the boys are in bed. I like to let him know he is on my mind during the day and to get a response back – even as simple as “Ditto”- makes me feel like he is thinking about me too while at work.
BTW Hallie – I loved your #3! Made me smile.
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Micaela @ California to Korea September 3, 2013 at 5:57 pm

Hallie, my love, you and I would get along famously. Seriously! Big plans, difficulty following through? Check and check.

I love love love this piece. Heading over to share it!
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Evelyn Lochhead September 3, 2013 at 7:14 pm

Coffee made night before with timer set for his early mornings. Along with note that a packed lunch is in the fridge for him:)

Love these little goals…going to make three littles of my own…

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Viki September 3, 2013 at 8:41 pm

We both work outside the home (all that is soon to change when baby makes his appearance any day now) but one thing we always do is send an email to each other (not a honey, don’t forget to pick up the dry-cleaning email, although those necessarily get sent as well), but just a lovey silly, I’m thinking of you and no matter how long I’ve known you, I’m so excited that you’re the person I get to come home to kind of email. It’s as simple as a little one-liner that I know will make him smile.

The very best are those days (which happen every so often) when we realize we both sent our “I love you and I’m thinking of you” email at the exact same time. It takes my breath away every time. :)

Admittedly my husband is typically the bed maker but I’ve been making a huge effort to do so on days when he can’t and it’s made a wonderful difference.

I’m rooting for you Hallie! Thanks for the reminder to focus on the little things that make a big difference.

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Jennifer G. September 3, 2013 at 8:59 pm

I always try to have the house tidy when he gets home, so it can feel somewhat peaceful. I make his dessert juts the way he likes it every night, even when it’s the last thing I want I want to pull myself off the couch for. I hand him his lunch and pile the kids outside to see him off every morning. I make sure the gas tank is full before road trips. There’s always a cold Coke in the fridge and ice cream sandwiches in the freezer. I can only work in baby steps, but I know he appreciates those baby steps. And he does the same for me.

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LJ September 3, 2013 at 9:38 pm

Auntie Leila has a gem of a post about making beds! So good.

http://ourmothersdaughters.blogspot.com/2010/03/reasonably-clean-house-did-you-guess.html

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Amy Caroline September 4, 2013 at 10:57 am

So funny, I just recently decided the same thing about making the bed. My husband always wakes up before me, so when I do get up, still laying in bed, I now flip his blankets up and the bed is half made before I even crawl out! I even got a little decorative pillow to put on the bed. I know, pushing it in my domestic achievements. Stand back in awe.
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