My Book

Sex Advice: Lead Us Not Into Google

by Hallie @ Moxie Wife on July 2, 2014

My finger hovered over the “publish” button. I drew a shaky breath. For months I’d been thinking about publishing this ebook but kept asking myself, “Do you really want to be ‘that Catholic woman who published a book about great sex‘?”

Three years ago, while we were working on Style, Sex, and Substance, contributing writer Elizabeth Duffy sent a questionnaire to hundreds of Catholic women asking them about their sex lives: Were they satisfied? With what issues did they most struggle? And their husbands? Were they content? Was there tension?

I was taken aback and saddened to see just how many women reported being dissatisfied with the sexual-love aspect of their marriage. Inspired and informed by the feedback she received, Elizabeth wrote an excellent chapter on the topic for our book.

After the book released, I started receiving emails from women about their intimate lives and the struggles they faced. At best, they said, sex wasn’t fun. At worst, it was a source of enormous marital tension…

To read more, just head over to Patheos where I have the pleasure and privilege of guest posting this week!

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Your questions about “Spice Up Your Marriage” answered!

by Hallie @ Moxie Wife on May 26, 2014

Hi cutie pies!

First, thank you all so much for your support of Spice Up Your Marriage — A 28-Day Adventure! Thanks to you, she achieved #1 Best Seller status on Amazon! You all are the sweetest! (She would thank you, too, but she’s having a moment.)

 

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A couple of questions about the book have been coming up repeatedly so I thought I’d take a minute to answer them.

A lot of you are wondering whether the book can be used during an NFP season of spacing. Julia answered that question so well (and sweetly!), that I think I’ll just cut and paste her thoughts below:

“As my wee ones are still asleep, I just enjoyed a hot cup of coffee while reading the ebook from start to finish. First off — great work, Hallie! I especially loved the postscript on “alone time” — such great advice! While I am not going to assume what others might find cheeky or blush worthy, I found the contents written with honesty, compassion, and utmost respect for women, their husbands, and the marital act. The language was suggestive without being “in your face” (a breath of fresh air compared to most mainstream material on the topic).

Re: couples in an NFP “season of spacing”… Even though many assignments focus on physical intimacy (directly or as the natural progression of things), some focus more so on other aspects of the relationship (communication, emotional connection, etc.) Assuming that you could pick and choose assignments out of sequence (and I don’t see why not), those abstaining during fertile periods could still intentionally set aside time for one another to work on emotional intimacy (e.g., Day 15). For that matter, it would help build anticipation for physical reunion a few days later. ;-) “

A few of you have also asked whether there is a way to read the book if you don’t have a Kindle. Kindle does offer a free reader for PC and for Mac users (there’s an app for iPhones, as well). Eventually, I may upload it for Nook but formatting it for Kindle was a bit of an ordeal so it may be a while. (If for some reason none of those options work, email me and we can do a Paypal/PDF thing.)

Oh, and for those of you who do have Kindles but are worried about little people stumbling upon your spicy download, Calee offers a few suggestions here. (Thanks, Calee!)

And last but not least, many thanks to those of you who’ve left kind reviews, shared the book with your friends, and/or have helped me to promote the book on social media. I can’t tell you how much I appreciate your help!

If any of you would be willing to leave a review on Amazon, it would mean the world. The more positive reviews a book receives, the higher Amazon will rank it and the better it will be promoted. (BTW — anonymous reviews are fine. Just fine. Wink, wink.)

 

With so much love and gratitude!

Hallie

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Spice Up Your Marriage – A 28-Day Adventure

by Hallie @ Moxie Wife on May 21, 2014

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Girls! My eBook, Spice Up Your Marriage – A 28-Day Adventure, is on Amazon!

I’m so excited!

For those of you who are wondering what on earth would compel me to write about such a (potentially) embarrassing topic, all I can tell you is that I apparently have no sense of self-preservation. (Wink.)

All kidding aside, I decided to pen this 50-page eBook for two reasons:

1) There is CRAZY demand. I wrote a post a while back entitled Spicing Up Your Marriage (without 50 Shades of Grey) that is (by far) the most viewed post on my entire site every single day.

My stats look like this, again, every single day:

 

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And my inbox is flooded with email from women asking if I have any tips for how to revitalize the sexual-love aspect of their marriage.

2) This is an important area that is too often not discussed. Which is something that needs to change. Cultivating a satisfying sexual relationship does not come easily for every couple. And judging from the email I receive, when a couple is struggling in this area it places a huge strain on the union.

Women are constantly telling me that they feel hopeless because they don’t know how to fix this issue and they don’t know where to go to get answers. Asking Google for advice is like stepping into a virtual adults-only XXX store. I wanted to write an eBook that would offer tips for spicing up your marriage in a way that doesn’t demean, disrespect, or objectify the participants.

Even couples who have had a satisfying intimate life in the past can find that it’s easy to deprioritize the sexual-love aspect of their relationship amidst the busyness and stress of daily life. There is a great temptation to choose sleep over sex. And sometimes we should! I am never more miserable to be around than when I am sleep-deprived.

But here’s the thing: marriage is the foundation our families rest upon. We simply can’t afford to neglect it. Obviously, there are many areas of marriage that need our attention, but from what I’ve seen, when the sexual-love component falters, tensions rise incredibly quickly.

Plus, all these spicy activities are such stress-relievers! Who among us couldn’t use a little extra stress-relief?

So, I thought, why not pen a little 28-day guide to putting the spark and spice back into your relationship with minimal effort and lots of fun?

There are three options each day — a mild, medium, and hot — so that you can tailor it to your needs, your comfort level, and your desires (and use the guide countless times without repeating the same journey). While some of the hot options are pretty spicy (so, prepare yourself for that), none of them disrespect the participants. I’m all about self-giving, satisfying, and respectful sweet lovin’. If you encounter something in this book that just doesn’t feel comfortable to you personally, move on.

Anyway, I hope you enjoy it! Thanks for your support, cutie pies!

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Choosing Joy by Dan Lord

by Hallie @ Moxie Wife on June 20, 2012

Hey, hey, hey! Look what just popped up on Amazon…

 


What is joy? Ask ten different people and you’ll get ten different answers.

Yet if you asked:

  • a man who grew up fatherless and destitute in the slums of Atlanta
  • a young widow who decided to bring a neglected garden back to life in spite of agonizing physical pain and a deeply wounded spirit
  • or author Dan Lord himself, ex-frontman for a popular indie rock band

each would point to the one source of their joy: Jesus.

They made the choice for joy, against all odds, and so can you, though the obstacles might seem insurmountable. Worry and anxiety, pain and suffering, the daily grind–all these and more can block your path. When faced with such challenges, is it possible to get past the barriers, let go, and experience God’s joy?

When you look around, you might wonder-although joy is a fruit of the Spirit, it doesn’t seem to be hanging visibly from many Christian boughs. Choosing Joy aims to change that-and change your life in the process-as it helps you discover the key to this most attractive but seemingly elusive gift.

Choosing Joy, will help you overcome the obstacles and focus your heart, mind and strength on God so that you can receive the happiness and peace that the world cannot give.

 

Dan Lord…now where have I heard that name before? ;)

Yup, that’s my husband’s book! On Amazon! Of course, it won’t start shipping until September but there’t just something so exciting about it finally being available for pre-order!

Speaking of that husband o’ mine, he is the new Managing Editor of Catholic Exchange! If you haven’t checked them out recently, you should wander over there and take a peek. They recently redesigned their site and are in the process of taking CE in a very exciting new direction.

Congratulations, sweetie! I love you!

 

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Off to Chicago!

by Hallie @ Moxie Wife on May 29, 2012

I’m heading to Chicago (thanks to my generous publisher, Our Sunday Visitor) for the Religious Booksellers Trade Exhibit tomorrow morning. In addition to meeting many members of the OSV team for the first time, I’m very excited to be finally meeting my friend, Amy Welborn, in person.

Will any of you be in attendance? If so, let me know! I’d love to say hello!

As always, prayers for a safe, smooth day of travel are appreciated! Thanks, loves!

 

 

(If you’d like to follow along, I’ll be documenting my trip right over here.)

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Pre-Gaming by Grace Patton

by Hallie @ Moxie Wife on April 23, 2012

As I mentioned in last Friday’s Quick Takes, I don’t know what I’ve been doing with my life, but I only recently discovered Grace of Camp Patton. I stumbled upon her site after someone told me that she’d written a hilarious blog post about pre-gaming before reading Style, Sex, and Substance. It was love at first sight. I am so smitten with her, in fact, that I twisted her arm into writing another post on pre-gaming for my own blog! She very sweetly agreed. Here, for your reading pleasure, is the awesome result… (Thank you, gorgeous Grace!)

 

Hopefully I’m not the only one that partook in healthy amounts of pre-gaming in college. But if it is the sad case that I am, let me preface by giving you Urban Dictionary’s definition of pre-gaming:

n. To drink before going to a party. Often pre-gaming happens at the house and involves taking shots.

Let me trust walk you through my beverage suggestions individually tailored to each chapter that I strongly recommend you prepare and enjoy before reading Style, Sex, and Substance . . . (Or was it let me trust walk you through my strong drink recipes individually tailored to each chapter that I recommend?)

 

Chapter One: How I Fell Out of My Minivan and Found Myself
by Jennifer Fulwiler

Recommendation: Get the party started with a totally morning appropriate Mimosa. I’ll leave ratios up to you, but I enjoy the easy to remember 1 part champagne:1 part OJ and one sprig of fresh mint that I’m sure you have handy in your carefully tended garden of herbs. Not to be consumed before driving — even if it is an innocuous minivan.

Chapter Two: Style: Balance, Beauty, and You
by Hallie Lord

Recommendation: Keep things classy with glass of sweet and trendy Muscato. Wine snobs will argue that this is no more a real glass of wine than White Zin is a restaurant worthy adult beverage but that doesn’t stop me from favoring it above all fancy wine. Also, my brother-in-law (9th grade) informs me that this is, “what all the rappers drink these days.” to which I happily say, “cheers.”

Chapter Three: God and Godiva
By Karen Edmisten

Recommendation: Chocolate wine. Two perfect genres marrying and living happily ever after. The end.

Chapter Four: Sex, Passion, and Purity
by Elizabeth Duffy

Recommendation: Exotic Sangria. Go all out. Scour Pinterest for a good recipe involving tequila, brown sugar, and if you health nuts must: fruit.

Chapter Five: Single and Seeking God’s Plan
by Anna Mitchell

Recommendation: Margarita gone wild. Mix equal parts water, limeade concentrate, tequila, and sprite with one bottle of Corona.

Chapter Six: What Works For You?
by Rebecca Ryskind Teti

Recommendation: Another white wine I enjoy, but that true connoisseurs might grave roll over, is Riesling. Why not take class it up and make a Riesling slushie or three to share: Riesling, strawberry vodka, Sprite, strawberries, and ice. Blend, drink, and enjoy.

Chapter Seven: Fruitful Friendship
by Rachel Balducci

Recommendation: My favorite girly drink recipe courtesy of my brilliant sister-in-law: equal parts gin, triple sec, and lemon juice topped with champagne. Be thirsty and careful. These are equal parts delicious and potent.

Chapter Eight: We Said Yes
by Danielle Bean

Recommendation: One drink my husband and I can agree on is the classic Margarita. Frozen, rocked, shaken, or salted. Your call.

Chapter Nine: Receiving, Creating, and Letting Go: Motherhood in Body and Soul
by Simcha Fisher

Recommendation: Bailey’s Irish Cream in your iced or hot coffee. Suitable for any occasion, but especially perfect for a particularly treacherous Monday morning.

Chapter Ten: Plugging in and Embracing Discipleship in the Twenty-First Century
by Barbara R. Nicolosi

Recommendation: A tame and tasty nightcap. To ease the end of the book pain, mix three parts club soda with two parts Port and a splash of lemon juice to make a Port Spritzer.

 

Enjoy the book, enjoy the drinks, and remember to follow the sage advice of Saint Thomas Aquinas, “Drink to the point of hilarity.”

Many thanks to Hallie for having me! It was an absolute pleasure.

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Real Men Read "Style, Sex, and Substance"

by Hallie @ Moxie Wife on April 11, 2012

(I told you I was going to be running Gosling twice. Don’t even pretend you’re not tickled pink.)

 

About a week ago a guy left a review of “Style, Sex, and Substance” on Amazon. Here’s what he wrote:

 

I recently read Style, Sex and Substance, a book featuring short essays about…style, sex and substance from ten Catholic women. The contributors will be familiar to anyone familiar with the Catholic blogosphere and include the likes of Hallie Lord, Jennifer Fulwiler, Simcha Fisher, Daniel Bean and Barbara Nicolosi. There essays confront important issues like how to approach sex (yes, with your spouse), what it means to be a Catholic woman in the world today and how to engage the culture we live in. For those who picture Catholics as having a bunker mentality, they will be surprised Without giving anything away, these essays do not encourage the exclusive use of the missionary position, treating the house like a cloistered convent or engaging the culture by throwing rosaries at passers by. No, these women are frank, honest, modern and deeply committed to the teachings of the Church. They are each in their own way models for the Catholic women of today. Not that they set themselves up as perfect. In fact, they are perfectly clear about how hard it is to find a balance in life and that doing so with five kids throwing their shows at each other in the minivan is even harder.

And yeah, I’m a guy and still enjoyed the book. For the most part, all of the advice in it would apply just as for men if you swap out the word “husband” and replace it with “wife.”

And that brings me to my last point. The guys who write books for Catholic men could take a hint or two from these ladies. Don’t be afraid to be funny for one. Yeah, it’s cool to use the imagery of knighthood and battle, call us to imitation of St. Joseph and all that. Heck I’m a particular sucker for the knighthood imagery but it only goes so far. Make a good joke! About family life and the kids. Yes, you can just wind up complaining and that isn’t a good thing but it doesn’t mean we need to hide the fact that living out the Church’s teaching is a pain in the neck sometimes. And for crying out loud, not every guy on the planet thinks sports is the most important thing in life after God and family. I may rank it in the top ten but it’s near the bottom of that list.

In any case, no matter if you are a man or woman you should get this book. Even if you aren’t Catholic, but are curious about what real Catholic women think about how real life and faith intertwine, you should get this book.

 

I love that. I love that this oh-so brilliant man could see what I at first missed: Style, Sex, and Substance is an equal opportunity book. Of course she is! (Very, very) pink, yes, but passionately against any and all forms of discrimination. She thinks all of her readers are the cat’s pajamas regardless of gender! So, dear sweet men, there’s no need to feel ashamed because you find yourself strangely drawn to her feminine coloring! She understands and would never judge you.

But hey, listen: If you want to pull out the brown paper bag and create a book cover, that’s totally cool. No one here is going to be offended. I even went ahead and found instructions for you in case your memories from high school are a little murky!

Happy reading! And don’t forget, real men read Style, Sex, and Substance

 

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